Taking care of myself...again
I feel like I'm almost mental back to place where I was in Seattle. I was able to think about taking care of myself without thinking about it as this impossible thing and just something that you do. I'm not back to the point where I was when I was exercising and eating right and dressing well but I'm at least getting back to that point again.
My MIL and I took the kids to the mall today. I am embarrassed at how big I am. You can't hide my weight in clothing. I even wore an outfit that my mom helped me pick out, so I know that it matched and looked good on me but it still wasn't the same as not having to think about how huge I am. I don't want to be obsessed with how I look all of the time but I want to get back where I was when I was comfortable without thinking about it.
The thing about it is that I'm still wearing the same basic stuff that I was 35 pounds ago, pajama bottoms and T-shirts, but now I'm really self-conscience in them where before I didn't care. I want to get back to wearing my PJ's with pride. And being able to shop in regular stores again would be nice too.
I went to my neighbors apartment tonight and talked to her. She seems really nice. She has ADHD and is unmedicated so spending time with her is a little like being in fast-forward but not in an unpleasant sort of way. She wants to lose some weight and said that we should walk together and go to the gym. I think it would be a lot of fun to do that with her. She has a LOT of freakin energy and would be fun to listen to when I'm gasping for breath. I say that in a nice way. I won't be able to talk because I'm so fat and can barley move but at least I could listen.
In Seattle I had friends that supported what I was doing with my weight lose. They did this in little ways that didn't make it feel like they were keeping tabs on me and didn't lecture me. I lost that here and even had the opposite with someone at work that really was an enabler. Not a bad person and I don't think she knew really what she was doing but it didn't help.
It would be nice to have support like that again, in a geographically close location.
4 comments:
Well first of all, let me tell you how cute your Harry Potter dressed Seaker is. The whole animated Seaker thing reminds me of those cardboard coated cutout dolls where you put the plastic/rubber clothing on to create different looks and outfits. Do you know what I'm talking about?
Anyway happy reads. I no that there is probably a communications blackout after midnight tonight for as long as it takes for you and your sister to speed read the last book.
It sounds as though your new neighbor might be able to keep up with your kids and there thought processes at this point in there development. And you might really get a work out with her as your work out partner until you have to strangle her because you need to hear yourself think. But don't do it. Just invest in some really cute ear plugs that are not visibly noticeable at first glance and just say Ja Ja.
A suggustion on the food front. With school starting again soon, you may want to try some slow cooker meals that can be reworked for a second meal. A roast day one, the leftovers to create a casserole the second day. With all the demands on your time after work, 3 of the cutes demands of all time,the food thing is going to takes some preplanning to have time for exercise. Just a thought. The only other thought for the day is HOT WHEELS, BEAT THAT!!!
Note to self, read comments before hitting the publish tab.
Update no to know (2nd ph), and there to their (3rd ph). Now I feel better.
Keep the HOT WHEELS, BEAT THAT!!!
Boy can you beat yourself up about publishing errors?
Anywho, I'm glad that you have an adhd neighbor! It must be like talking to me!!!!!!!!!! I think that whatever you want to do sounds like a good idea to me. i'm sorry that you don't feel comfortable :(
I also love your happy witch girl! i am to lazy to do any of that. Ohh, Charito just composed Hedwigs theme in her phone!!! She looked up the cost of a ring tone when she recharged her inutes and didn't want to spend the money.......so when she saw instructions on a different sight for the song ,off she went!!!! She is so proud!
I am so glad to hear that you can see and feel a way to take care of yourself. Your depression has been getting worse and it is nice that you are now about to has a respite from that nightmare and love yourself for a while.
Always supporting you, just from afar,
Madame Libellule
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