My day...in points

-woke up at 5:30. Getting easier to do this. Too bad I have less than two weeks in which I will need to do this.

-look at self in mirror and decide that I do not need to take a shower. Think that maybe I should because I'm starting to act like a teenager about it but know that I'm going to wear a ponytail anyway so why bother.

-can not find deodorant. Where could that have gone? Really? Decide against shower still even with the new deodorant development. Decide to also keep air conditioning turned down really low so I don't sweet and thus stink at end of day.

-finish seventh of eight CD's on audio book. Resisted urge to get to work late because I was sitting in car, in parking lot of work, listening to eighth CD.

-was amazed anew how I always seem to get to work at the same time, no matter what time I leave. Decide that I should just sleep in until 6am if I'm going to get to work at same time anyway.

-worked my butt off to get a kid into the fourth grade. Get frustrated that others do not seem to understand the urgency of the situation. Do a good job of communicating this to person without shouting "cuss" words at them. Say "cuss" words in head as I walk away.

-do a little dance when I remember that two of my students are still suspended. This means that I will only have 14 kids in my room today if no one is absent. Continue to do little dance and notice that first grader is staring. Do a little kick step and wave at first grader as if I don't know that they think that I'm crazy.

-crazy child is at a school today. Darn. Try to act excited that she is there. Wonder how long it will be until she has a melt down.

-Skip next door and bug neighboring teacher with dumb questions and requests for paperwork that I have lost. Forget question and need for paperwork and have ten minute conversation about snickers and coffee. Learn that they make a "light" coffee with half of the caffeine. Know that would still be enough for me today. Skip back to my room and "cuss" inside head what I remember why I went there in the first place. Get distracted by something else. Ohhh, shiny disease is in full effect.

-Lecture students about how they are supposed to be working quietly. I go back to work on packing room.

-Read students a chapter from Alice's Adventures in Wonderland. This is only one of my most favorite books of all time. I have fallen down the rabbit hole before and do not find this book one bit confusing. Don't tell students about that day. Get mad at students for not listening and quickly read the rest of the chapter in a monotone. Notice that only one student even notices at all. He doesn't care that it's in monotone. He loves the story too. Wonder if he will go down the rabbit hole.? Ohhh, shiny. Distracted again.

-make students illustrate their favorite part of the book so far, write a paragraph why, color picture. Walk around room and be amazed that they are actually listening, at last up until today.

-sit at back table and illustrate my favorite part. Put lots of detail into the hookah that the caterpillar is smoking from. Try not to laugh at this idea. Hope the principal doesn't come in room and see the picture. Decide that it's too good to throw away and display on bulletin board. Display children's work as well so not to draw attention to the stoned caterpillar.

-Find out that student as passed the test and will be going to fourth grade. Then find out that I have to redo a few pieces of paperwork. Do not say cuss words because it's so this kid can go to fourth grade. Decide to throw away all blue pens because all forms at work must be done in blue, although no one told me this before.

-have a great lunch and read my favorite sites that are not blocked by the school server. Can't believe that one of them is not blocked. Hope that they will not figure it out because it's so good. (I'll write about that a different day.)

-assistant boss walks in while I'm reading juicy web page. Go to bathroom and wipe myself because I had just pooped my pants. (Not really but I wanted to find a way to work that in here.)

-get distracted by the number of new baby fish we have. Am unable to count them because they are so small and swim so fast. Decide that a whole bunch is a sufficient answer.

-have a "short" staff meeting for 45 minutes. Feel glad that it didn't last longer than that.

-go five miles under the speed limit to listen to audio story. Smile when I see that traffic is backed up. Smile bigger when I think about how angry I used to get about this. Frown when I realize that story is almost over and I will probably go back to speeding in a few days.

-realize that car is on E. Wonder how I could not have noticed this before. Glad that traffic is not moving and I will not have to join the other morons that did not notice that car was out of gas and are now sitting on side of highway. Feel bad from them and wonder if they have a cell phone to call for help.

-decide that I will stop for gas on the way to work. gas light is not on yet. This means that I can stop and get coffee on the way. Need to get water also so I do not die of thirst because I can't drink the water here because it tastes like butt.

-MIL started dinner and it smells good. There is only one minute till it's finished. Good timing.

-Dish out bowls for the kids so they can cool. Notice deodorant on table. How did it get there?

-don't even flinch when Little Girl vomits her food into my waiting hands. wonder later on if I even used soap when I rinsed it off and then went right back to eating dinner. Ponder the whole idea of just how much vomit I've caught in the last few years. Know that there is much more to come.

-Get kids ready for bed. Boys have matching PJs. Little Girl in pink. Medicate the smallest two and send them all to bed.

-Start writing this list. Mr. Husband comes home. I barely acknowledge his existence because I'm on the computer. Feel a little bad about it but keep typing.

-Ohhhh, shiny.

-Off to bed. Tonight at 9. Much later than my 8pm bedtime last night. Think to self how grown-up I am for going to bed at 9 and not 8.

-give self pep talk about shower as I drift off to sleep.