Hoppy Easter

Today was a very emotionally mixed day for me. Including several ups and downs.

I drove the kids to my in-laws today so Mr. Husband and I could go to the Amusement Park (AP) and ride the roller coasters. We have a season pass to AP. The last time we went was fun but we didn't get to do any grown-up type rides because we had the kids with us and didn't want to leave one adult with the kids by themselves for an hour or so just so the other adult could ride a ride.

I was torn about the idea of dropping the kids off on Easter morning because, well it's Easter, but it really was a good time to do it. I have a four day weekend so I've been watching the kids and my MIL (MIL) didn't have to spend those days with them. I hate to ask her to watch the kids on the weekend so we can have a date when she has to watch them during the week. Also with it being Easter, we figured that AP wouldn't be to full. MIL was fine with it and Mr. Husband was excited. The kids were excited to go over to MIL's house and see her and Papa so the only thing holding things back was me.

So I dropped the kids off and Mr. Husband and I went to AP. It has many roller coasters and Mr. Husband and I were excited to try them out. We both LOVE coasters and want to ride them together. AP has this really huge coaster that drops you straight down for 200 feet and I SOOOOOO wanted to go on that first but Mr. Husband wanted to work up to that one. It's so good that he did.

We got up to a nice midsized coaster. It was a coaster where you are suspended. You sit in a seat and there is a chest restraint that comes down and then you use a little seat belt thing to hold the chest restraint down. The line was really short and we were ready to go on in less than 10 minutes.

We walk over, sit down, pull the chest restraint down and buckle up. Only problem is that Mr. Husbands buckle can't reach. He's too big. This was bad enough but the guys that worked there wanted to try and see if they could get it to work. I really think that they were just trying to help but it was making it worse. At one point they were both pushing down on the chest restraint. After all of that they tell us that there is a seat with a longer strap on the next train. We need to get off and wait for it. Not that big a deal. Much less of a deal than having two people push on your chest.

Now Mr. Husband is a big guy but there are other guys at the park there that are at least as big as he is if not bigger. I guess that they either know about this seat and go for it or just don't ride roller coasters.

I felt so bad for Mr. Husband. You never know what to say when someone is embarrassed. I wanted to hold him and tell him that it would be OK but I also didn't want to make a big deal of it. I know that when I'm upset the last thing I want is someone to make a big deal of it. I just told him that I love him and held his hand. He tried to laugh it off and make jokes but it hurt.

It was a big ego deflate for someone who is actually trying to take care of himself after not doing so for so long. Going to the gym and eating better. I can pump it up but something like that digs deep.

Well the next train comes, we get on, seat belt fits and the ride takes off. Not a big deal but about 5 seconds into it I start feeling sick. Like really, really sick. I didn't feel like I was going to throw up but I wasn't too far from that. I have never been so dizzy in my life. We got off of the ride and I had to sit down and put my head back to the right to feel even a little better.

I could barely walk straight and actually didn't sometimes.

It was embarrassing to me. I couldn't handle a ride like that. I should be able to do it. I used to love it. I want to do it but I can't.

I was really sick and we took the next hour too just walk around and talk. I was feeling a little better so we grabbed some lunch. Food actually helped a lot. I was worried that it would be worse.

I've been having this thing where I do not want to eat. The only thing that sounds good is mint ice cream and not because it's ice cream. I think it's the mint. Even foods that I normally love and will stuff myself on are hard to eat. I don't feel hungry and even the thought of food makes me feel sick. The smell is overwhelming and the sight puts me off. I have to force myself. I'm trying not to worry about it but it's been a couple days now and it's actually getting worse and not better.

We walk around the park for a little while and I decide that I would like to try another ride. I'm feeling bad that we are not getting to go and have fun because that was the whole point of going without the kids. Apparently I AM only suited to sit and watch them in the giant sand box. We went on a little coaster and that was a lot better. I was dizzy but could walk, talk and not vomit. We went to see a show and that helped to sit down.

We ended our day at the park by going on a pirate ship. The ship rocks back and forth and actually goes over in a circle. I was doing great while we were on it but felt really dizzy again afterwards.

I know that you are probably wondering why I didn't just stop going on the stupid things after that first one but I really want to be able to do this without being so dizzy and sick that I'm disabled. I want it so bad that I wanted to keep pushing it to prove that I could do it.

I hate when I can't do something. It's one thing to decide that I'm not going to do something because I'm lazy, tired, bored or something like that but to just not be able to do something is unacceptable.

I'm stubborn and stupid like that.

Overall we had a good day at AP. There were definitely some really crappy times there today but we balanced them out with having fun together. It was really comforting the way that Mr. Husband treated me while I was sick and I hope that I was equally comforting when he was not able to fit in the seat.

The kids were happy to see us when we got back to my MIL's house but were more surprised that we were there than anything. They just showed up what they were playing with. We had a nice dinner together. (I did eat. Ham, potatoes and asparagus.) We had an egg hunt that the kids really got into and they kids had cute little bunny cakes for desert. It was enjoyable.

I'm so tired and I'm still dizzy after all of these hours. I'm kind of scared to lay down and find out that I have the bed spins. I'm really hoping not but I'm worried.

I'm hoping that I can lay down, go to bed quickly and have a restful sleep. Tomorrow I am planning at hanging out at home with the kids. I want to clean my room and wear my PJs all day. That sounds like the perfect day to me.