Love is...love
A few months ago I read that love is a decision. I read this on a blog that was associated with Love Thursday. I've thought about that idea for some time.
Love is such a magically thing to so many of us. It can't be measured with standard instruments. It is simply what it is.
But we make the decisions involved with love. I choose to be with Mr. Husband. Yes, I do love him but the being married and living together part is a choice. Just as it's a choice that some people make to leave the ones that they love.
Many of you wonder why I teach. I know that I keep saying that I need to get out of it but I can't imagine my life without it. I'm hoping to find a way to include it and still be happy but it is for the love of it.
I wrote this today:
Teaching is sitting in front of 15 children and knowing that they will not learn a very important concept. Reaching the understanding that I may not fill even one child with the understanding of something important.
I am paid to teach them how to read, to write and to understand math. I am compelled to teach them the basic understanding of compassion, courage and humanity.
I almost wept in the front of my students today. I was overtaken with a sense of urgency. I was trying to teach them that courage is not just being brave. Courage is doing the right thing even when you are afraid. A basic understanding that is lost on the majority.
I could feel each one of their minds in front of me. I could see the firing of neurons as these simple sounds that I was producing became meaning. I was able to see into each one of their futures.
I had the vision of a time that they would be stopped in their tracks and they would need to make a decision. I could see them ask themselves, “should I do the right thing or should I turn away.”
I was overcome with the grief that came from knowing that most would simply turn away to try to protect themselves.
I am still shaken with the very nature of this understanding.
I know that this probably sounds like I hated this experience. The exact opposite is true. It is moments like these that motivate me to continue. I know that one of those students will turn around and say something. It's that one student that I choose to stay for.
It is my choice.
2 comments:
We don't want you to leave teaching you silly rabbit! We want you to be in a school that supports you and helps you do your thing! Duh! These kids need you in so many ways because what you teach them will never be in an outline of what needs to be taught. When the enviroment around you is pure chasos and you get distracted. Its a human thing. And you are very good at being human. The school you are at doesn't sound like its set up fro anything but failure. So you have to ask your self: Am I ready to become the kind of teacher that they will write a movie about? Are you ready to break the rules to get through to your kids? Are you ready for a place called vertigo? I think you are and its about time to stock up your arsinal to fight those kids and make them want to be what they want to be. Got it sista? And if people keep disapearing, and getting shot, and abused then you know what to do. Open a can of Manyella whoop-ass.
Love is a broad, overarching and dynamic word that is involved in every aspect of one's life. To feel pain and empathy is love. To feel joy and understanding is love. Now take all the varieties of emotions dictated by and related to emotions and connect them to all of the events in life and the complexies of closeness and society. Hmm...love is pervasive and has a hand in every aspect of daily life. The more you feel love, the more you give love, the more love is created.
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