Looking for answers

It just seems that I don't know what questions to ask.

I've been a goal oriented person for the past nine years. I set a goal and work toward it. Most of my goals are long term goals and take years to accomplish. I like having something that I'm working towards. A direction that I'm always heading.

I currently do not have a long term goal. This is very disconcerting to me.

Sure I have some minor, non distinct goals. Lose weight, be happy, spend time with the kids, but nothing really set in stone. Nothing that I can easily measure in success or failure. I feel as if I'm lost and drifting away.

Maybe I should have a goal or not having a goal?

I've tried to spend the last few days adjusting to this idea. I don't like it. Not one little bit.

It seems like a cop out.

I don't know. It just seems wrong that I don't have any real long term goals right now.

I think the biggest reason for this is Mr. Husband. He is still trying to find a full-time job. He is still working as a substitute and is doing that everyday that he wants too but he is also looking for something permanent. I feel like I can't make any long term decisions without knowing what will be happening with that part of my life.

I don't know. I've been more philosophical lately but that just seems to lead me to more questions and less answers than I started out with.

I'll have to sleep on it.