Potty training

Little girl has been going on the potty for a long time now. I decided that we would try real potty training today. I talked to her about it and she picked out a pair of princess underwear. She sat on the potty and peed and we did a dance, sang the potty song and I was feeling pretty confident.

I set the timer on the stove so I would be sure to send her to the potty at regularly scheduled intervals. I've been known to lose track of time so this would make sure that we didn't have any accidents.

The timer went off 30 minutes later. She sat on the potty, went pee a little, we sang, we danced, I clean it up and she got her panties back on. I set the timer again.

This whole time I've been trying to clean. I say trying because it's really only half hearted. I know that if I'm really going to clean well, I need to sit in one place and move from that corner and continue until the room is spotless. Then I repeat this with every room. It only takes me 2 hours to do the whole apartment and have it really sparkle.

I wasn't in the mood for that but I was picking stuff up and putting it away and then picking something else up and putting that away. I went about this way for awhiel but got distracted in the boys room. Middle child had come in and I was helping him with something.

While I'm helping Middle, Little Girl starts calling for Mommy. She's not screaming or crying so it goes pretty much out of mind. I keep helping Middle and Little is getting louder and louder but still just Mommy. I yell that I'll be there in a second.

I get to her room and she's standing on her bed. Her undies are down but still up at her thighs. There is a steaming pile of poo on the bed between her feet. As I walk in on this, the timer goes off. It was one of those times that you have to decide what type of mother you are going to be. Are you going to scream, cry and hide or just calmly pick up a pile of shit, clean the girl and take the comforter off the bed in and put it in the washer.

Today I took the good mom path and laughed it off. Picked up the girl put her on her potty. Returned with some tissue and was glad that it was a ball of poo instead of something softer and runnier. I cleaned up little girl and then went back and took the comforter off of the bed. Little girl got dressed again but this time she was wearing a diaper and we will try potty training a few months from now. Probably this summer when school is out.

I had rolled the comforter up and threw it in the hallway in front of the washing closet. Their really wasn't any residue on the comforter but it needed to be washed. Middle child thought that it would be a great idea to run and jump into it. The same style that one might into a pile of leaves.

********************************************************

To the many people at the grocery store:

Thank you to the many older couples that stopped and told me how beautiful my children are. It was really nice to hear how well behaved they were. You may not have noticed that we had just entered the store and it's easy to still behave the first few minutes but i still like to hear it.

To the many woman that used the shopping carts that hold three children but have only one child with them. You all suck. I would have been fine with it if you had left one for me but you did not. I went to that store because of those carts. It is difficult to shop with young children if they can not be restrained in some way. I know that you are the same woman that complain about your whole one child and how hard it is to manage and you don't know how I could possibliy do it. I really admire how you let the nanny have the day off. I know that it's a sacrifice for you not to go the gym with your personal trainer and you didn't get to have lunch with the girls at the club. I know it's hard for you to slum it at the store with the rest of us. But the next time you all decide to do it on the same day and you all decide to use the carts that I want, I will kick you. Just letting you know.

To the single man that was in the freezer isle. Yes, this is what children are like. It is amazing that I can find time out spots in the freezer section. It is also amazing that I could continue to shop for frozen food while 2/3 of my children were in time out. I'm just that good. So please continue to use protection when you have sex. This is what happens.

The the gay men in the produce section. I love you! Thank you for complimenting my children on their love of fruits (no pun intended) and vegetables. Thank you for talking to them instead of just addressing me like they are deaf. This is a wonderful reinforcement. Please go to the soda isle and kick the woman that told my son that those little soda can were in fact for kids.

To the people that owned the grocery store. Thank you for parking a giant SUV in the middle of the front display. I know that I don't like SUVs but the kids were amazed at the fact that it was in there and when you turned the music on and they were dancing and having an air guitar contest, that was cool. I just please ask that the songs be shorter in length. I made the mistake of thinking that the song was almost over and told them that we would continue shopping when it had completed but the song continued for nearly three minutes longer.

To the lady that checked us out. Please do it more quickly next time. I do appraicate the compliments on how well behaved the kids were but your are pushing your luck by just stopping and staring at them. They will misbehave when stuck in a candy isle for too long.

And to the woman that pushed our cart out to the car. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. It was really hard for me to say yes to your offer. You don't know how stubborn I am. I would rather do it myself but I did need the help. I was worried how I would get the three kids to the car and the cart without someone getting hurt. Thank you.