September 10th and 11th 2001

In 2001 we rode the bus or walked. We couldn't afford a car. We lived in a small one bedroom apartment. #1 son was the only child and he was only 7 weeks old. It was only the second week of school and I had only just started working there that year. I was 23 years old.

At the end of 2000, I student taught in London and terrorist acts were not unheard of in Europe even then. There was always a reminder about abandoned baggage on the tubes. This was something that you didn't exactly look for but ingrained enough that you might remember if you saw a bag with no owner.

On September 10th, 2001 I was riding the bus to work. From my seat, I noticed an abandoned backpack leaning against the pole of the bus stop. I clearly remember thinking that we lived in a land that people were not paranoid about such things. That we lived in a place that the police were not called just for a backpack at a bus stop. I also remember wondering if it would always be like that here.

I awoke the morning of September 11th, 2001 without any real feeling that that day would be any different than any other. I didn't watch TV or listen to the radio in the morning. I wasn't really that interested in the news in general. With a new town, new baby and new job, well I was busy with other things. For some reason I turned the news on that day.

I turned the TV on to the site of the tower burning. They were reporting that a plane had flown into the World Trade Center. At that point they did not know what was happening. The reporters were still talking like it was an accident. I stood shocked just looking at the television.

I walked toward the hallway, it was a small hallway so I could still see the TV and into our bedroom. I remember telling Mr.Husband that a plane had flown into the World Trade Center. I remember saying that they didn't know what was going on. I didn't take my eyes off of the television.

It was as I was standing there that the second plane flew into the tower. I had not felt horror before in my life.

I don't know how long I stood there and watched. I had no sense of time. I remember looking at #1 son. He was wrapped in a blue blanket and swinging in his little swing. I remember thinking about what his life would be. How his life would now be different. How his world would be different.

I didn't want to leave my family but I felt an overwhelming urge to go to school. I made it to the bus stop in time. There is a small store just behind the shop and the owner was just getting there. He asked me if I had seen the news. I just shook my head yes.

We had an emergency staff meeting. We talked about what we would tell the kids if they asked and how we would try to go about the day just as if nothing had happened. We were trying to find a balance for the children already. One of the teachers left early. She is originally from New York. She still hadn't heard from her family.

You could not get a phone line to anywhere on the East Coast. I tried several times during the day but it wasn't until that afternoon that I could get through.

The plane that crashed into the pentagon and then in Pennsylvania both happened while we were in school.

I don't remember much more about the day. I wanted to post it here, now before I forget more. It has been five years. Five years that have gone by so quickly. I do not want to forgot what I felt that day. What I did that day. I haven't been able to really write about it before. I still haven't talked about it.

Pearl Harbor day has become very meaningful to me since September 11th. It was just a day where old people cried on television before. Now I imagine that I know how they feel. The surprise, the anguish in remembering. I want my children to understand what this day means to me but I also want them to have the sweet ignorance that I once had.

Please take the time to visit this project http://www.dcroe.com/2996/ This is a project to honor the 2,996 people that died on September 11. Bloggers have been assigned a specific person to honor. The wish is that we can remember not only what happened that day but really have a feeling about who these people were. They should not be a number associated with a date.