Oh what a day

Work was hard today. It involved another day of me crying in front of children, frustrated with administration and grading papers where half of my students did not manage to obtain the 70% for a passing grade.

The crying and frustration with administration go very much hand in hand. I had a student that was out of control. He had even taken a fellow students arm behind his back so hard that I was worried that it would break. This action was over a pencil. His behavior escalated from there. I have never been so close to hurting a child before. I called the office and told them that he had to be removed. I told that that I was worried about what I would do if I was around him. I had NEVER said anything like that before. No one came to help.

I tried to ignore him when he was merely walking around the room, knocking things onto the floor and saying bad words. I could not ignore when he sat down at the table that I was working at. A group of children were at the table watching me. It was there turn to work and he started to take their papers away from them. He just reached in their hands and took them.

I ordered him out of the room, which he did leave but he refused to go to a partnering teachers room for time out. I am not allowed to leave him in the hall unsupervised. He ended up running away. I let the office know that he had run away and I had no idea where he was going. They still did nothing.

I had enough. I could not allow a student to continue to act this way. No learning was taking place and I considered him a potential harm to other student. I called his mother and told her to come pick him up. She had to leave work and get him, now.

She did come and take him away but not without first having his behavior get to the point where a different teacher physically restrained him in the hallway of the mail building until his mother came to retrieve him. I was glad that she got to see how he was behaving. I was especially glad that she got to see this when I was not involved. She hasn't blamed me in any way but I don't want that to even be a consideration. He is actually better behaved for me to most other teachers.

This all happened before 10am.

I'm tired. I'm tired of not being supported. I'm tired of not being able to teach my students. I'm tired of being treated with such contempt by a child that is not even 10 years old.

I hated that I had to be the one that called. I hated that the message to come and get him came from me and not from the administration. I hated that I had to worry about the fact that I might get in trouble for calling a parent and telling them to get their kid.

I do feel good about the fact that I stood up for myself. The kids might have seen me cry but they also saw me take care of a crazed child, regain control of my classroom and then get back to work. I did all of this without yelling or hurting someone. Hopefully that is the part that they remember and not the part with me crying.