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I've decided that I need to start looking at New City in a new light. I live in a city that many would consider paradise. Millions of tourists come here every year to visit and I sit and complain about it. I need to change my attitude.

I've always loved exploring new cities. I love going to new places and learning about them. I'm terrible at doing that in the places that I live. Even Old City, which I loved so dearly, I didn't explore the same way that I would a place that I was only visiting.

I need to take more time and enjoy the little things that make it special. I need to also get back into the routine of daily life. I need to get my licence here, a library card and explore my neighborhood. I basically only know my way to work, the few stores that I shop at and to my in laws place.

I need to treat this city with at least the same respect that I would one that I was only visiting. I will probably never grow to love this City the same way that I did Old City. There are too many ways that this city is just so different than me but that does not mean that I should get to decide that I will simply hate it and hide at my apartment.

I've resisted even trying because it would mean that we really live here but the fact is that we do in fact live here. I can still try to leave as fast as possible but I can try to find some happiness while I'm here.

I need to try.

I've been much more reflective this last week. Being in the car for so many hours will definitely give a person time to think. I've been thinking more and more about the things in my life that I need to change. Not even need to change but want to change. I'm trying to think about what kind of person I want to be and what would I need to change to become that person instead of just dreaming about that person.

I've been thinking about work. I can't change my job this year but I must be able to make changes to make it more tolerable. At the very least I can do that in my classroom. I have also decided that I will give this whole teaching thing at least one more year. I love teaching but just haven't found where it works best for me. I'm going to change schools next year and I will also look for an early childhood position because that is what I'm most happy doing. They are offering school to children at age 4 here and I could teach one of those classes in the same school district without changing salaries.

I've been thinking about my body and the way that I treat it. I will start counting weight watcher points again. I will start exercising again. I will also see a dentist about my teeth. They have been causing me pain for at least a year now. I will also be more vigilant about wearing my wrist braces to bed. My carpal tunnel is so much better when I wear my braces but I always wait until I'm in a lot of pain before I put them on. I will also try different things until I can find a system that will allow my to keep my skin. My eczema has been very bad since October and I need to make sure that I have skin. I can not risk getting an infection and having a real problem.

I've been thinking about my marriage. I need to spend more time with Mr. Husband. He and I have not had as much time together since he started working. I also know that time spent blogging is time spent in another room. Before I blogged I spent my computer time as Television time. Mr. Husband and I were at least in the same room and would talk. The computer is in the bedroom and the TV is in the living room. I will still be spending time writing but I will limit to a set amount. I may have to set a timer.

I do not want these goals to be resolutions for the new year. For most people, resolutions are things that people make because they feel bad and want to change. They may even try but very few people follow through. These will be my new set of goals. I have been in great need to goals but I've also been needing to take time and relax without them.

I want to dedicate 2007 to me. The year that I take care of myself. I know that sounds very selfish but I don't mean it in that way. I don't mean that I will not take care of the other people in my life but I will try to make sure that I honor myself in the same way that I honor others. I will try to treat myself the way that I treat even strangers that I meet.

I hope in this process I will get to know myself better. I have felt adrift for so long that I'm not sure who I really am anymore. I want to take the time to find out now so I don't stop some time in the future and regret my life. I don't want to get to a point where I feel like I have to run away from my life to find myself. I don't want to be that bitter woman. I want to find those answer now.

I know that I may not figure out anything. I most likely will enter the next year at the same place that I am now but I must try.

What are you going to do this next year? What are your goals?