A memorial on Sunday

A husband of one of my friends has died. He was in a car accident. He died at the scene. He was 28. She is 25. Their second anniversary is on Tuesday. He died on Tuesday.

I met her husband a few times but can't say that I really knew him. I knew him as my friends husband and most of the stories I heard were the ones of a friends venting about her significant other. It's made me think of my own husband and what my friends know about him. Most of the stories are of a wife complaining about her husband. It's not often you talk about the normal everyday things that make a relationship work or a person loved.

I'm sad for my friend. I wish that there was something that I can say or do to help. I know that there isn't.

A group of us went to visit her today. It was nice to be there and at least be a distraction for her. We talked about work and other stupid things. We went outside and looked at her cow and the gazebo that her Dad built out of an old, giant satellite dish. We played with my other friends 8 month old daughter and looked for Monkey, the tailless kitten.

I worry about her at night time when people are not around her to distract her with trivial things.

For now, I go to sleep after checking on my little children and hugging my husband tight.


“I only cry at funerals when the person who died had something left to teach me, that I never took the time to learn.”
Author Unknown

I'm doin'

Surgery went very well. I have been recovering much better than I thought I would. No swelling. No bleeding. Very little pain.

I have some discomfort at the back of my mouth but nothing compared to the pain I had felt for a week. I have a strange taste in my mouth. I am having some side effects from the pain medicine and anti-biotic that I am taking.

I return to work tomorrow and have a doctor's check up tomorrow afternoon.

Eating has been interesting because I have to concentrate what part of my mouth I am chewing with and have to make sure that there is no food stuck in the wholes where my teeth had been. The finding food in the wholes part has by far been the most difficult and strangest part of this whole deal. I was afraid to dig around in there with my tongue at first but I think that there could be more danger from the food that I find in there than from my tongue exploring.

I feel like I have so much room in the back of my mouth now. It is simply amazing to me. I can reach my back teeth to clean them now. Something that I could not do for a long time. Funny what an impact your teeth have on you.

Surgery Tomorrow

I have surgery tomorrow at 11:00.

I am only going to have the top two teeth removed. They have broken through the gums and shouldn't be to hard to remove. The oral surgeon is optimistic that this is where the pain is coming from.

The bottom two are sideways, or at least sideways enough that they will not come in the right way. Not all impacted teeth will cause problems. If I'm lucky they will stay where they are and never cause problems.

There is a possibility that the bottom tooth is causing pain and will need to be removed. That is a problem.

See the tooth is so far into the jaw that there is a real possibility that I would have permanent nerve damage if it was removed. I would also have a broken jaw from when they would remove it.

The dentist is hopeful that it is only the top tooth and would like to remove that is then see what happens. If I am still in pain, I will know. If the pain is gone, great.

I am glad that he is playing this a little conservative. I'd rather wait a little and not risk nerve damage and a broken jaw if I can. If it comes to that, well, it comes to that.

I would take nerve damage over a life time of pain. I have nerve damage in my thumb and palm. It's not normal but it's something that you get used too even though it's still strange. I imagine it would be the same way in the jaw. Strange but something you get used to.

I'm still very nervous about the entire procedure. So nervous that I almost threw up several times at the consultation. I knew that they were not going to do anything today but talk about tomorrow but I was still scared.

I fluctuate between fear and terror.

I will be sedated and have pain medicine for when I wake up. Mr. Husband can't go back with me but he will be in the waiting room the entire time.

I'm still very afraid.

Say Awwwwww...Open wider...no, wider!

I started having pain in my mouth on Friday night. I called several different dentists on Saturday and could get ahold of no one. Sunday was Easter and there was no doing.*** Monday I got this pretty picture of my mouth. Notice the two teeth on the bottom that are not pointing in the proper direction. Some might say cool. I usually would also say that but now I just say Ouch!

I see the Oral surgeon tomorrow to set the details for surgery. Like how they will knock me out, when they will do this and how much of my mouth they will be removing.

I am afraid but I am also in so much pain that I just want it done. I'm hoping that they will do it Friday. I'll update soon.

***No doing means that it was not going to happen. In case that line just made you laugh and you couldn't understand what I was saying. (cough..cough..mother)

Yesterday

Yesterday went very well. We went to Grandma's house and hung out for a little while. We took the kids to an Easter Egg hunt at this Historic village place. The kids were hilarious because they could see the eggs laying all over the place but they couldn't touch them because it wasn't time to start yet.

Middle Child fell in love with this little pink egg and started to cry that he couldn't put it in his basket. The kids had a chance to be in an egg and spoon race. #1 Son was not aggressive enough a some pretty little southern girls kicked his butt. He dropped the egg half way through the race and then picked it up again and finished with the guts of the egg spilling out of the side of the spoon. Middle Child cried again because he didn't get to race with an egg. Then the Easter Bunny showed up and Middle Child cried some more because he was sure that they Bunny would take his beloved egg. Middle Child and Little Girl got to race with their eggs but not until Middle Child broke his before it started. (They gave him a new one.) Finally it was time to hunt the eggs. Middle Child got his beloved egg and a whole bunch more. #1 Son did not get as many as he could have but only because he was made to follow the rules and wait until they told him to start.

We went out to dinner and I was served a meal smothered in white gravy. I didn't realize that even carrots would come with gravy. :) (Not really but everything else was.)

Went back to grandma's house and had a small birthday party for PaPa. By then no one was really hungry but the kids did a good job of eating the cake.

Hugs, kisses and back to sleep.

We will be leaving for New Orleans in just over an hour. I am very much looking forward to this part of the trip. I've always wanted to go but never thought that I would make it.

I should go now. I've stolen enough time away for now. Besides, I'm sitting the lobby of the hotel, just beside the front door, wearing my pajamas. I don't think Texas is ready for me yet.

So much to say

Sometimes I lay in bed and thought race through my head, usually this involves things that I would like to write. I usually decide not to get out of bed and write my ideas down because I have to wake up and take care of the kiddos. So many of my ideas are just lost in dreamland.

One of the things I was thinking about last night was about my friends. I am not good at keeping in touch with people. I never have been and as much as I tell myself that I'm going to in the future, I just never do.

I also think about politics. My political view is something that I either totally keep to myself or you know just about everything. I don't try to hide the fact that I'm a liberal.

Sometimes I think about the way that words are made. The way that we pronounce different words. Many of the words in our language do not follow the rules that they are supposed to follow. They are usually so out of whack that it's impossible for children to learn this language easily.

Accents. It's so strange to me the different accents that people in the United States have. It's wild how just a little bit a geographic space can effect the way that people talk.